Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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