Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
