also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
