Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
