bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
