Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
