WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
