Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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