He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize