Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
