so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
