I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize