Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
