I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
