rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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