I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
