I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
