you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
