I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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