my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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