Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
