I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
whose parrot is this?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize