Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you inspire me to be a worse person
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You made out with two different species that night
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
