I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
