I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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