Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
