I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
