Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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