I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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