covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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