To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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