i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
high people should be assigned attendants
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
