omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
