I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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