The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
