We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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