There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize