Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
