I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
