his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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