Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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