is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
