Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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