Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
