Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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