When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
