i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
