walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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