I want to walk on stilts...naked
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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