I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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