Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize