I cannot find my penis.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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