my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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