you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
