We're facebook friends in real life
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
