So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
