TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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