I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
