every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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