Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
