tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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